When I read 1984 and gulag books where all the people were tortured into confessing or submitting to the regime I would wonder how I would cope when it happened to me. I was told by a sister never to talk about what I'm afraid of because Satan will hear and it can be used to torture me.
I used to worry about what i'd tell my non-JW parents when we got the 'call' to 'flee to the mountains' when Armageddon was coming, and also that my brother who was in the army for a few years would be ordered to shoot me...and actually do it. Being shot didn't frighten me as much as being betrayed by my beloved brother.
What messed up crap.